What Is an Example of Toxic Behaviour?
Toxic behaviour can take many forms, but at its core, it involves actions or attitudes that negatively impact those around us. Understanding toxic behaviour is the first step in recognizing unhealthy patterns in relationships—whether with friends, family, or colleagues. Toxic behaviour can harm not only the person on the receiving end but also the one exhibiting it, creating emotional, mental, and spiritual damage.
One common example of toxic behaviour is emotional manipulation, which often shows up in subtle, yet harmful, ways.
What Is Emotional Manipulation?
Emotional manipulation occurs when someone tries to control or influence another person’s emotions for their own benefit. This type of toxic behaviour is often difficult to spot because it can be masked by affection, concern, or even humour. However, the underlying goal is usually to make the other person feel guilty, insecure, or overly dependent on the manipulator.
A classic example of emotional manipulation is gaslighting. Gaslighting involves making someone doubt their own perception of reality by denying their experiences or feelings. For instance, when someone expresses that they feel hurt by a certain action, the manipulator may respond with statements like, “You’re overreacting,” or, “That never happened.” Over time, this tactic can cause the victim to question their own memory, judgement, and self-worth.
Why Is Emotional Manipulation Toxic?
At its root, emotional manipulation is about control. Instead of encouraging mutual respect and understanding, the manipulator seeks to make the other person feel small, inadequate, or confused, often in order to gain power in the relationship. This behaviour not only erodes trust but can also create long-lasting emotional scars.
Proverbs 12:18 warns us, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Toxic behaviours like emotional manipulation cut deep, causing lasting wounds that can take time to heal. In contrast, a healthy relationship is one where communication leads to mutual understanding and support, not harm.
How Can We Respond with Compassion and Boundaries?
As Christians, we are called to love and forgive, but we are also called to set boundaries that protect our well-being. If you recognize emotional manipulation in your life—whether you are experiencing it or observing it—it’s important to respond with both compassion and clarity.
Pray for Discernment: James 1:5 reminds us that if we lack wisdom, we can ask God, and He will give it freely. Pray for guidance on how to approach the situation and whether boundaries need to be established.
Speak the Truth in Love: Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love. It’s important to address the behaviour in a way that is honest but also kind. You can let the other person know how their actions are affecting you, while also expressing that you care about the relationship and want to work through it.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Setting boundaries doesn’t mean cutting someone out of your life, but it does mean defining what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour. For example, if someone continues to gaslight you, it may be necessary to limit conversations about sensitive topics or seek outside help through counselling or spiritual mentorship.
Other Forms of Toxic Behaviour
While emotional manipulation is a significant example, it’s not the only type of toxic behaviour. Others include:
Constant criticism or belittling: When someone regularly puts you down, it can wear away your self-esteem and confidence.
Passive-aggressiveness: This form of toxic behaviour involves expressing negative feelings in indirect ways, such as giving the silent treatment or making sarcastic comments.
Jealousy or possessiveness: Toxic individuals may try to control your actions out of jealousy, isolating you from other people or activities.
Walking in Grace and Truth
Recognizing toxic behaviour in relationships allows us to protect our emotional and spiritual health. While we are called to love one another, we are also called to protect ourselves from harm. If you find yourself in a situation where toxic behaviour—such as emotional manipulation—is present, it’s important to seek God’s wisdom and set boundaries that preserve your peace.
By extending grace while also standing firm in truth, you can navigate difficult relationships with compassion. And remember, you are never alone—God is with you, and He will guide you on the path to healing and wholeness.
Are You Ready to Break Free From Toxic Patterns Planted in Your Heart?
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Scripture to Reflect On:
“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” — Colossians 4:6
